The Toronto Raptors Blog with an Arsenal touch

I am shit scared of the Boston Celtics

Posted by Arsenalist on August 7, 2007

Not in a million fucking years did I ever think I was going to say those words. The pain of watching Colangelo’s lack of moves this off-season has been compounded with the Celtics acquiring two Hall of Famers to supplement a perennial all-star. You don’t have to be a basketball analyst to figure out that they’re loaded to the tits and just waiting for the regular season to start so they can finally eradicate the stain on the Atlantic division by aiming for the Conference title.

I’m a layman so I’ll put this in my terms and think out loud about the current status of the Atlantic. The Celtics have Kevin Garnett who is currently superior than Bosh – do not argue with me on this, I will fuck you up. Ray Allen might be the best shooter in the league coming off screens, pulling up, fading away, with his arms between his legs, whatever! Paul Pierce when healthy is unstoppable, just ask X and instead of X you can use any small forward in the league. The Raptors counter with Anthony Parker and Jason Kapono? WTF, are you serious? Are you fucking serious man?!?

Let me start a new paragraph. Remember that Seinfeld episode when Kramer goes Serenity now, serenity now, that’s me since the KG trade only I’m saying Make a move BC, make a move. It’s getting pretty scary just sitting here and watching the fucking Knicks, yes the Isaiah led Knickerfuckingbockers acquire Zach Randolph who I only pray has enough weed and cocaine with him to last a full season because if he starts playing all motivated Bosh just might’ve become the third best PF in THE ATLANTIC DIVISION. THE ATLANTIC DIVISION…ECHOES…THE ATLANTIC DIVISION.

I’ve always had low standards in measuring Raptors success (can you blame me?) but the past season has spoiled me and unless we win a playoff series this year, the season will be considered a failure – I know, it’s crazy. If the roster stands as it is, and with the new look Celtics and Knicks, we probably go 3-5 at best against them instead of 6-2 so right there you can knock off three wins from last season. Now take into consideration what this does to our division standing and also factor in that the Central Division is no slouch and we might just be getting squeezed for a playoff spot. Also, don’t forget the Nets, they want Jermaine O’Neal. What’s this? Bosh might be the fourth best PF in the Atlantic? Shit I’m about to call 911.

Now I’m not one for making a move for the sake of making a move but I say we make a move for the sake of making a move. Andrei Kirilenko, sure, make him watch Boys Don’t Cry and bring him in to guard KG and Randolph. Let me go off on a tangent and make a bold statement: Lindsay Lohan is a slut. Bolder? Bryan Colangelo might as well be a corpse as far as this summer is concerned. The man has literally sat on his ass and watched everybody in his division become an instant contender. Maybe this is going to be a “wait and see” year as in let’s wait for next summer’s free agents and see what happens then.

Now there’s plenty of time till training camp and I want to see some moves happen, some real moves. Even Francisco Elson or Amir Johnson or DeSagana Diop will do at this point. Andris Biedrins anyone? I would kill for Mehmet Okur and I swear for a moment yesterday I actually entertained the idea of Charles Oakley as a backup backup backup backup backup PF. Let’s calm down and think about this rationally, what are the chances of KG, Pierce and Allen being healthy all year? Not great, what are the chances of two of them playing together for at least 65-70 games? Pretty good I’d say, that’s dangerous enough for me.

Oh yeah those of you fuckers talking about a Championship Window like it’s a fucking noun, stop with that nonsense already. It doesn’t work that way, you can’t have contention windows when your team can’t get past the first round and the league is as volatile as a Baghdad supermarket. BC isn’t sitting in his office with Google Calendar open and figuring out his window for contention, he’s trying to recreate the success of last season by keeping the core of the team together so we can get some playoff gates. For a franchise that’s never been past round 2, championships are the farthest thing from your mind. We’re like a 13 year old teenager trying to get to second base, fuck scoring, let’s just try to get a glimpse of third.



11 Responses to “I am shit scared of the Boston Celtics”

  1. Ike Austin said

    Agreed on BC, disagree on 65-70 games for at least two of the big 3. I will starve myself to death if there isn’t a trade involving Calderon for a big man before training camp.

  2. Raps Fan said

    i think BC underestimated his atlantic division counterparts. not much out there in terms of big men. kirilenko would be a perfect fit, and would put us back at the top of the atlantic, in my books anyways.

    pierce, allen and kg are the best collection of three players in the league, hands down. if doc rivers puts in the triangle offense, i think they wouldn’t even need to add any marquee veterans (chris webber for one). lets see what kind of coaching job rivers will do this season, we all know what mitchell is going to accomplish…high pick and roll after another…

  3. Kidz Beware said

    When did this become an R-rated blog?

    The Celtics remind me of the big three in Milwaukee way back: Baker, Robinson and Allen. They were dangerous but never did anything of substance. Probably cuz the East was strong back then: Miami, Knicks, Bulls, Hawks, Orlando…But in this day and age of the NBA, the Big 3 of the Bucks might’ve been EC champs.

  4. arsenalist said

    Raps Fan, I’m counting on Rivers to fuck this up for the Celtics. Unless BC makes a few moves, only Rivers can win us the Atlantic.

  5. Raps Fan said

    ha, yea…i am not that down on rivers for some reason. i thought he did a good job when he had a decent team to coach.

    Kidz Beware: you are right, but the celtics big three is way better than the bucks big three (although I am pretty sure it was sam cassell, robinson and allen). although the conference was loads better back then.

  6. Danny said

    I’m not to worried about the celtics. They hardly have any depth. The big three will have to play heavy minutes every game and if one if them gets injured they are screwed because of the lack of depth.

    About Colangelo what is he supposed to do? He’s tweaking the roster. Celtics were a very weak team last year so they are supposed to make big moves like we did last year. I don’t see the Spurs, Suns, Bulls, Pistons, Mavs, Jazz, Cavaliers who were all top teams last year making any substantial moves or trades.

    Think about this way. The average age of our core (Bosh, Ford, Bargnani) is 23 years old. They all learned about the playoffs last year. They learned how to succeeed and they will all improve and get stronger and better. Next you got Parker and Garbajosa who excellent defenders and can be an offensive threat from the 3 point line. Last year was basically there first year of the NBA and don’t think they won’t improve.

    Now about or depth. We have one of the strongest benches in the league. I’m pretty sure we got Kapono starting so lets see. We got Nesterovic (a true center), Delfino (barely got playing time in Detroit), Calderon (should be a starter), Graham (if he can be consistent it will help dividends), Dixon (doesn’t get as much credit as he deserved, he played awesome for us when he was traded), Humpries (showed he can produce when he gets time), Garbajosa (excellent defender that can shoot 3’s)….Baston and Moon im not sure about. But that is still a strong bench.

    I don’t know about you but I think we will improve from last season.

  7. arsenalist said

    Danny, thanks for reading. I know we’re going to be better than last year based purely on experience but that won’t necessarily translate to success. The simple and plain fact is that the teams in our divisions have gotten better by a greater degree than us. You can’t argue with me there.

    Yeah, the Celtics don’t have great depth but Ainge has been trigger-happy and is working on that (shit he’s even thinking of signing Reggie – I know, I know). On the other hand BC hasn’t done a damn thing and seems to be happpy with the status quo. I don’t expect him to make an overhaul (as you might’ve suggested I was thinking) but address our defensive needs (see last year’s playoff defense) and maybe grab a scoring 3. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable in expecting this.

    I think you’re looking at the glass as half-full in your analysis of Rasho, Graham and Dixon. I’m sure you and I can both point out the weaknesses of Graham and Dixon and the anonymity of Rasho during parts of the season.

    The Celtics will be tough come playoff time if the Big 3 are healthy and will win their fair share of games in the regular season. We haven’t even talked about the Knicks.

    I think most of all we need to upgrade our defense on the frontline and that’s why suggested a move for Kirilenko. If that happens I’ll feel a little more confident in our chances of repeating as Atlantic champs.

  8. Raps Fan said

    if kapono is starting, i will personally tea bag mitchell. bargnani needs to start, and play 30+ minutes a game this year…period. I have ford, parker, bargnani, bosh and nesterovic slated as starters.

    as for a deep bench, the raptors have plenty of guys coming in who can pop, but they don’t have a stopper. the only one we had, sorta (mopete), we replaced with someone who cant stop a faucet from dripping (kapono).

  9. Danny said

    Arsenalist, you have some good points but I really don’t think that our Atlantic teams will become so much better. The only team that I really fear are the Nets because if their big three are healthy they are 50+ win team, not to mention that they are getting Krstic back and they signed magloire. The knicks are still a weak defensive team and I don’t see them improving on the turnover problem which they were worst in the league last season.

    I also think colangelo should try to get Kirilenko or maybe even Artest but he has some behavorial issues. It’s funny because there was a rumour that in the draft deadline the raptors could’ve gave mo pete for kirilenko or something similar.

  10. Danny said

    Raps Fan,

    Actually It could be that Kapono and Bargnani will both start. Bargnani is playing at the center spot for Italy this summer and he is also working on his strength to play in that position.

  11. Raps Fan said

    bargnani will never start at 4 or 5 until he puts on some size, and learns how to play low post defense. euroball is way different than nba ball.

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